Sunday, August 08, 2010

It's All About Me

Well I am here, I haven't been on in a while. I have been trying to make some very important decisions. And in the process I have lost sleep and have kept myself confused and wore out so there has been no crafting getting done. I finally talked to my husband about it yesterday. He is great and supports me no matter what but he always wants me to make my own decisions, even when I want him to tell me what to do! So after our talk I have decided I will not be going back to work when school starts. My heart is doing OK but just the thought of having to keep up with those kids was stressing my out. And the doc said I need less stress because I have started having problems with anxiety. It is not so much of a problem for me but Joey said all the stores around here have probably got my picture posted like a bad check list and they are not going to let me in. Isn't he sweet? So I am trying real hard to be nice and keep my picture off the walls. So spending the nights sleepless wondering if I will get called in and the days dealing with kids will probably not help in my fight to stay calm. And in order for me to handle my pacemaker adjustments calm is what I need. I also decided I will not take the anxiety meds, they make me like a zombie, and no thyroid meds. As long as my heart is ok my thyroid seems to be staying stable and I have even lost six pounds! Woo Hoo! I will continue to take my potassium when I start noticing signs of it getting low and I will take my daily aspirin, just in case. So I feel like I am not hiding that from my family now since I have done it this way for three months already. I know, I am bad. So with a clear head and the help of some Tylenol pm I slept eleven hours last night. I feel much better now. And since the doc also wants me to keep active I am going to give my craft business a real shot and stop playing around. I will be doing orders and craft shows this fall. If all goes well by the end of the year I will set up an Etsy account to sell online and we will convert part of the garage into a craft room. I know this all sounds like stress but since I can do this at home, at my own pace I can keep the focus on my health and my family. I am super excited about making these changes and can't wait to get the ball rolling. I will also continue to blog and stay in my photo club because I enjoy doing both of them very much.

And like this picture I took, there are only two things for sure in life. There is life and death, all the things in the middle are just random decisions you make to decide if you live it to the fullest or waste your time waiting for the end to come. I love the Lord and know I will not have to worry about any of this when I am gone. So for now I will live life to the fullest, stay right with God and enjoy it while I am here. And I have wonderful family and friends to help me with that. I love them all.

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